Sega Genesis
Released in 1992 by Virgin Games
Grade: D-
Don’t be charmed by the retro graphics and music. This game is like my friend Drew at a party: giving no effort, doing nothing, and basically useless.
Where it falls in the series
It’s Virgin’s only soccer game on Genesis.
Gripes
This game is so bare bones it’s practically a skeleton. Players move like machines, running jaggedly in straight lines at the same speed. There’s no AI to speak of. You use the same button to pass and shoot.
It’s hard as hell to string together passes and generate a scoring chance, and if you do score, there’s literally no fanfare. You’re immediately back at the center circle for the kickoff.
The choppy control is a nightmare, especially when trying to pick up a loose ball. And did I mention that you use the same button to pass and shoot? Yeah, that’s right, the B button. The C button lofts the ball slowly, which never does anything useful, and the A button makes your guy FREEZE! Yeah, that’s right! Meanwhile, the game carries on while your one player is frozen in place. Technically, you have a chance to dial up a substitution during this freezing act, but the first couple times it happened I thought my controller broke!
On defense, players change automatically, and the B button is a slide tackle, and that’s it. That pretty much sums up this stupid game. It’s far too simple, and at times it’s downright aggravating.