PlayStation 2
Released in 2002 by Sega
Grade: B
This game is more “slam” than it is “soccer,” but it’s good for some fast-paced, lighthearted fun.
Where it falls in the series
It’s a one-off release on PS2, Xbox, and GameCube.
Praises and gripes
Sega Soccer Slam pits squads of four weird characters (three plus a goalie), created solely for this game, on a tiny field with no fouls and no out of bounds. It moves at a brisk pace with a lot of scoring, but offense and defense seem well-balanced in this imaginary arcade soccer world.
Goalies can be tough at times, and defenders can slide tackle or simply punch their opponents, so you’ve got to dribble, deke, pass, and shoot wisely. There’s turbo and occasional power-ups for super shots. The soccer equivalent of the hockey “one-timer” shot is a critical weapon in your offense. The controls are nice and responsive, but you can often end up in a muddled mess of indistinguishable animations, just hoping you come out of it with the ball.
The players have exaggerated attributes, so you can zip around with a fast little girl, then dish the ball to a big slow dude who drills the ball into the net.
Put it all together, it’s a pretty fun, silly time. You could probably change the grass to ice, change the ball to a puck, give the players hockey sticks, and call this “Sega Hockey Slam,” and it’d be just as much like hockey as this game is like soccer.
The graphics are dated but fairly easy on the eyes. The whole scene is ridiculous, with themed stadiums and audio that has a garish quality, like you’re playing some non-violent kiddie game in a Japanese arcade.
There are four difficulty levels, and the CPU puts up a fight on the highest setting. There’s also a couple stupid mini-games that aren’t fun at all and I can’t believe I just mentioned them. Whatever. This game isn’t to be taken too seriously. But if you’re a dork collector like I am, it’s worth the price if you can find it cheap.