Super Nintendo
Released in 1991 by Culture Brain
Grade: C-
This game has a unique twist, essentially making the players into magical wizards that have some of the wackiest power-ups ever seen. Unfortunately, under all the fun is a lackluster and frustrating retro baseball engine.
Where it falls in the series
This follows an NES version of the same name. It’s the only SNES installment available in North America. There are four more editions in Japan, where it’s called Super Ultra Baseball.
Praises and gripes
You ever hear people talk about baseball players throwing a ball so hard you can’t even see it? Ever hear an announcer refer to a big hit as a “bomb”? Baseball Simulator 1.000 makes these figurative phrases a reality.
This is one of the most unique sports games ever, where each pitcher and batter has a signature power-up, which you can activate before any pitch.
(To be clear, there are six teams with power-ups. The other twelve teams play in typically dull retro baseball fashion.)
What do these power-ups do? There’s a pitch that disappears right when you need to see it. Another pitch stops for a couple seconds in mid-air. Another one goes 186 miles per hour. Some pitchers can invoke a lightning storm, making the ball jump around on its way to the plate.
A batter might hit the ball so hard it explodes on contact, leaving the catcher flat on his back. The next batter might disorient the defense by making the whole stadium spin. My favorite is a fly ball that suddenly turns into a leaf and falls to an open patch of grass, then scoots along into foul territory while the fielders chase it down like morons.
Interestingly, you have to choose how much magic a team gets before the game. Each power-up uses a certain number of points, and you’ll run out once you hit the limit. Who knows why they decided to inject rigorous arithmetic into this fun-focused baseball game. I think maybe something like “three power-ups per inning” would have made more sense. You can also choose “no limit,” but don’t overthink it, the whole magic powers thing is just silliness, and the game doesn’t warrant that much of your attention …
… because it sucks! Yeah, sorry the poop the party, but the core gameplay is just as stupid as it is in most other old baseball games. It’s the same old pitching system, with pitchers steering the ball mid-flight. It’s got the CHEAPEST MOVE IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY, the meaty strike down the middle that ends up bouncing in the dirt. The ball comes off the bat fast, but the fielders are terribly slow and sluggish. Harmless grounders become singles, and routine fly balls are unwanted adventures.
It’s not the worst baseball game of its time, not even close, but I don’t recommend it unless you find it cheap and can accept that you’ll just get a few laughs from it before stocking it away.
Published July 19, 2022