Super Nintendo
Released in 1993 by Nintendo
Grade: F
This game is famously bad, making spastic, bewildering, frustrating, dizzying use of “Mode 7” technology and its constantly moving camera in a piss-poor attempt at 3D graphics.
Where it falls in the series
This was it for the Stanley Cup series, thankfully, but it’s sort of the hockey brother of SNES games NCAA Basketball and Tony Meola’s Sidekick Soccer.
The developer, Sculptured Software, was a subsidiary of Acclaim, which was known for releasing many more bad video games.
Gripes
No praises this time, just gripes. What an awful hockey game. That camera just never lets up, following the dumb-looking puck on every pass, every shot, every unnatural bounce, getting jumbled in every confusing scrum, and swinging around 180 degrees on changes of possession.
The result feels quite frantic, and not in a good hockey-like way, but the action is actually a bit slow. Any faster and I would have had a seizure.
The players look chunky, move clumsily, and appear to morph in size when they get closer and farther from the camera. They ignore fundamental positioning, but the ice tends to feel cluttered anyway.
And about that ice, it’s apparently floating in outer space. There’s black nothingness off the edge of it, and there aren’t even the standard boards or glass we’re used to seeing on a hockey rink. The blue ice gets sprinkled with little white dots as the game progresses to recreate the skate marks in its surface. (I guess I can give this game credit for being the first one to attempt that effect.)
If you can get past the awful visuals (and bless your sweet heart if you can), the hockey itself falls apart as the puck goes missing in piles of limbs, the goalies veer curiously far from their nets, and golden scoring opportunities are mysteriously spoiled by shoddy controls.
Move over, Hit the Ice, this game is the newest entry in my list of the 10 Worst Sports Video Games Ever!
Published June 29, 2022